The News at Ken - Trumped up Charges Special

Heads you win

MIDFIELDER Asa Hall has been in the goals this season. Among his tally, he’s weighed in with quite a few headers. It all goes to shows that practice makes perfect.

Earlier in the season his heading had a distinct Frank Spencer style about it. But now coaching from Big Mick (who, of course, used to score the odd goal or two with his bonce) has seen him heading in the right direction. Keen-to-impress Asa jumped to the task in hand before Mick did his nut.

Just the ticket – and not 30,000!

LTFC2020 have been giving it large about how we’re suddenly going to rustle up 30,000 fans to help fill Wembley for the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy final.

They reckon there are enough supporters somewhere in the rotten Main Stand woodwork to outnumber and out-sing Scunthorpe.

I know the FA have got it in for us, but judging by this sign outside the ticket office there may be a bit of a problem with Hatters’ ticket allocation.

Sickening pressure

WE were well proud of the boys when they held their nerve to smash home some great spot-kicks to seal victory in the penalty shoot-out against League One Brighton.

One by one, Chris Martin, Tom Craddock, Asa Hall and Ryan Charles hit the net to secure our showpiece Paint Pot match at Wembley. But have you ever wondered on whose shoulders the responsibility would have fallen if a fifth kick had been needed?

It’s just as well Rossi Jarvis wasn’t required. He’s seen here as the drama unfolds, sick as a parrot at the thought of the pressure ahead.

The case for the defence

MICK’S suffered more than a few injury setbacks this season. And the back four has been particularly unsettled. With even more injuries now, it’s left just Ed still standing as our only recognised defender. That was until the gaffer managed to unearth some new recruits, which he unveiled to the press in the Arndale earlier this week. Will Sol, Pilks, Ropes & Co be able to force their way back into the team?

You could make it up!


IS this the moment, far right, when Luton Town boosted their chances of a Wembley appearance?

The FA thinks so and is investigating if Rossi Jarvis slipped Brighton keeper Michelle Kuipers a crispy £50 note during the handshake ahead of our Paint Pot Trophy area final showdown.

Moments later Tom Craddock cashed in to open the scoring after the keeper boobed. To most fans our innocence seems very cut and dried – so expect to be thrown out of the competition and another 10 points off the league tally.

Sit down, but we won’t be shut up

WITH Nico on the sidelines again, our passionate skipper has had plenty of time to mull over protest ideas against the FA/FL at Wembley. He’s decided the boys should do something before kick-off to make the authorities sit up and listen for once.